I was doing my best to avoid talking about this obvious subject, but the Bath Salts epidemic has crushed the media, and I can’t even listen to local sports radio 97.1 Detroit without hearing about the “ZOMBIE” drug that has ripped through the South. Is this the start of the apocalypse? Seems that flesh eating assaults has become the trendy thing to do when you’re wacked out of your mind on this stuff, what is it about this drug that causes people to want to take a bite out of innocent bystanders? I feel we have a couple viable options for this, one is that gas stations who sell this product should be considered high risk and they need to implement a law that requires the establishments to build panic rooms for the public. This will allow for innocent citizens that are minding their own business pumping gas to take shelter if needed when you have a “ZOMBIE” on the loose. The second option is that you sell explosive collars with this product that users will be required to wear when they are high, if we establish a national emergency cell number you can program in your phone. This will allow you to dial and detonate the collar of the individual (BATH SALTS ZOMBIE) that is closest to your cell signal that is trying to attack you.
BAM! EXPLOSIVE COLLARS ….PROBLEM SOLVED.
